Why are we in Iraq? Straight answer (press secretary style):

Thank you for your question. Firstly, I feel it is necessary to nit pick a little bit. We are not in Iraq. By definition when I say we I need to be included in where we are. Also, us needs to be defined. If we are Americans, than only a small percentage of us are actually in, or ever have been, in Iraq. When you think about it, it is unlikely that a substantial percent of United States citizens will ever visit Iraq. This notion speaks to recent trends of international travel by Americans, especially with relation to arid regions. One possible cause is global warming, which, I think we can all agree, is an extremely frightening and important issue. Next question please.