Clearly the cause of obesity is...high school?

Obesity is no myth, however, the origins of its sources are.

My junior and senior years of high school, I was fortunate enough to be a witness to one of the most ridiculous attempts to form a revolution…in the history of my high school, possibly even the world – I’ll even go out on a limb and go as far as to say the universe. The obesity epidemic was starting to arise at that point in time, and many critics were speculating that it was all because of the children – the lazy children who sat around, eating, playing video games, going to school…doing what any sensible person may consider normal routine.

Our high school did not want to be accountable for this myth – obesity’s derivate was the education system.

So, our school board had two [genius] ideas in order to combat the problem. The board figured attacking the enemy in a dual-sided formation would be most effective. And…I’d be lying if I said it was.

First the school board attacked gym class. “Clearly the children aren’t receiving substantial physical activity, during a forty minute period of…physical activity.” That argument makes all too much sense in my opinion. But being a member in the lowest prong of the pyramid – the educational system pyramid – what good would my input have done? The school board developed this myth that the gym teachers weren’t challenging the students enough during the periods of laborious [ideally fun] activities. How ironic, considering they eliminated the Presidential Fitness testing, as it created hostility among students, and hurt the feelings of those who couldn’t do well in the challenge. I guess they compromised, for they created a single day, of the four days we were required to participate in gym and called it “Workout Wednesday”.

The plan fell apart within the first few weeks of the trial period. Maybe if they had selected another day, or another problem to combat…it would have worked. Obesity did not decrease the slightest and attitudes of students shifted to a negative and anti-physical activity/pro-health regime. Thanks a lot school board – that was strike one.

The school board also attacked our school store – one of the most profitable components of the high school’s system. So the board decided to remove all the fatty culprits: candy, pretzels, water, vitamin water, rice crispy treats, donuts, water, apples, tasty cakes, water, and pencils…all of this being said, I am implying that everything in the entire school store was removed. Once all was removed from the school store – the most obvious cause of obesity throughout America, the school board revised the entire cafeteria food calendar. Vegetables [dipped in a mildly light coat of grease] were offered to the students as an alternative option for French fries. The students rebelled and didn’t accept the new offerings…strike two for the school board.

No further strikes have been reported, so I'm assuming the school board is still at bat. Perhaps the board should reevaluate what is myth and what is fact more thoroughly next time....