6000 miles close to home

As the Iraq war started I did not give much thought as to how it would affect me at home. I was pretty young, only a freshmen in high school. I knew enough to think about implications for the country and for the military in general but I had not the foggiest idea of how it would directly affect my life. It has affected my friendships, my family, and my own personal view of the world.
My friends and I have had many arguments on the morality of the war and such but that is not what really drove us was the issue of enlistment. Two of my very close friends joined the marine corps directly out of high school. I had seen some people at one of my other friend's older brother's work. These people had been two Iraq with the corps. One was not that bad clearly messed up a bit by the things he had seen, but the other was a wreck. He had been a sniper and could not deal with the morality of what he did. He smoked six packs of cigarettes a day just because he wanted to die. He was not drunk on the job but there were clear signs that he had been drinking heavily. He was a pathetic excuse for a person. He was so disturbed by what had occurred he became even worse than the marlboro marine. It deeply concerned me that there was a possibility of one of them could even become half as bad as him nagged at me constantly. Now, both of them are currently deployed. One is front line infantry and the other is a helicopter mechanic. The only thing I can do for them now is write them letters just to give them a sense of something from home.
Back in the beginning of the war one of my cousins was in the marine corp when the war started. His possible deployment was a hot button issue within my family. Some were completely against him going, others said he signed up and it was his duty. Personally I was foolhardy then and thought it was the latter without question. Know I can scarcely imagine the terrible truth of war, but I have seen some terrible things and being able to thing of things worse than that on a massive scale, it just befuddles me. Most people are not capable of handling such things. The few who are are rarely on the front lines. Those people tend to be special forces. I know one guy who is a Navy SEAL. He is the only person I have ever met who I think has a killer instinct.
The war has also affected my view of the world. Since having seen all of the excuses and uncertanties of why we are in Iraq, I have become a lot more cynical. I have since stopped placing my trust in people, especially the government. I have become a person who questions everything I'm told for the sake of making sure I'm not being duped. This has caused me to rethink my political views, my social views, and even my religion. Instead of taking things on faith alone, I now think about and sometimes even research any topic I am told about without being taught with evidence. It has caused me to feel much more isolated from those around me, but I would rather feel alone than know I'm being duped. Being lied to and knowing I'm being lied to is to not be free.
All of these things have come out of my constantly updating views and perceptions of the war, its military, and political implications. This war has a home front that affects every one of us, not in a traditional sense, but it has one none the less.